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Personally am hungry for wisdom from others regarding managing midlife challenges, such as philosophical reflections, diminishing importance, developing a neck akin to a surrealist painting and a newfound passion for A Place in the Sun. Recently, I read the chef’s comments about hitting fifty via a discussion: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

At first, I pondered: doesn’t this conflict about evading pessimists and honing one’s rejection skills? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.